fearless: What would you do if you know you could not fail? (Could Not Fail)
So I know it's been awhile since I've actually posted something to this blog that didn't consist of a cross post from my domain, but if I'm perfectly honest, the need to censor myself is no longer something that I crave, nor need.

A few weeks ago I realized that I had lost the person I truly was and often felt the need to use euphemisms in an attempt to dumb down the harsh effects my true feelings and thoughts often elicited and realized that by doing so I was not being true to myself.  So as an attempt to get back to being the girl that I am and the one that so many fall in love with, I stopped being so nice (so to speak) and unleashed the bitch (which is usually what I'm labeled).

I can't say that I'm sorry for doing so either because when it boils right down to it, society is now filled with too many people who were hand held through life and as a result are incompetent fuck ups (usually) who can't take the slightest hint of constructive criticism because it's just too mean.

Grow up, develop some thick skin and realize that not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to be all sugar, sweet, and rainbows.  This is the real world, buckle up, grin and bear it, or for the love of all things realistic, get the fuck out of the way.
fearless: (Default)

Today was a weird day. Or maybe I just felt that way I don’t know. It was just a strange day. I don’t think going to bed at 4:30 in the morning and then waking up at 10:00am helped, but I did managed to power nap for an hour so that helped some. We’ll see what time I end up crashing today. Hopefully I’ll get sleepy around 1ish, but I doubt it. :sigh:

It was a pretty mellow day today. I didn’t do much. Work was offering voluntary time off, so I took it because I’m trying to get as many days of peace before the holiday season kicks in full force. So not looking forward to that at all. Hopefully it’s over soon. At least I can cross my fingers and hope, heh. I’ve become quite the addict of Farmville. It’s terrible because I’ve been avoiding it for so long, but got sucked in somehow. Oh well. At least it’s one more thing to pass the time!

Oh my beads should arrive tomorrow which means I can focus on working on trying to get better at the jewelry making. It’s not as easy as it looks– especially when you have to make loops! Those are the hardest, but I am determined to be successful at it! I also plan on taking up baking when the New Year starts. I really want to get into it and start making my own stuff so that will be one of my resolutions I suppose. I think it will be a good one. :nods:

Robby graduates from school next year and it seems like it’s taking forever. Lol. Maybe that’s because baby fever has hit me again and I want my own little bundle of joy. Ugh, I hate when I get like this, it’s terrible. Especially since I have to wait, which sucks, but I do understand the logic as to why I should. It doesn’t make it any easier though. =( Oh well, that’s life. Alright, I think I’m going to watch V since I keep forgetting to set the damn Tivo to record it. :lol:

Mirrored from The QUEEN B {dot} NET.

fearless: What would you do if you know you could not fail? (Could Not Fail)

Today I discovered that I can no longer just read my syllabus the day I know I typically have assignments due and crank them out. I actually have to make an attempt to read the syllabus beforehand and plan to complete an assignment over the course of a few days which I’m not too happy with, lol. I liked being able to just read the syllabus the day my assignments were due and crank it out within 20-30 minutes. Now that’s not really the case. :( Oh well, tis what it is and it’s only going to get harder as time goes on.

Things were pretty mellow today. We didn’t do much. I made white chocolate chip cookies and we went in to town for a bit, but we pretty much spent the day relaxing. I feel like the weekend just flew by and now I have to work again. I hate it. Hopefully next weekend doesn’t just disappear on me to. That’s just no fun and it makes me miss having Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.

Well, I think I’m going to watch a movie with Robby or something. I’m not really in the blogging mood, hence the shortness. Hopefully tomorrow is a bit better. We’ll see though!


fearless: Don't compromise yourself, you are all you've got. (All You've Got)
It is always so strange to have to come up with something significant to say in an introduction that should not be too wordy, yet should have just enough to draw readers in.

Even now, I have yet to find words that will make me appear at the very least eloquent, despite the fact that I am far from it. In any regard, I suppose the best place to start is with a name. Mine is Angelina, though I often go by Angel. I am a 23 year old Filipino/Black female that currently resides in Arizona with my husband of nearly 2 years and our 5 cats and 1 dog.

I am a Navy brat and was born in the Philippines but spent the majority of my life in California. When my dad retired from the military we moved to San Diego, which is where I met my husband. My husband and I moved out to Arizona almost 2 years ago when a job opportunity presented itself and thus we have been here ever since.

I am a true Aquarian, as i am very eccentric in my ways and in my living style. I enjoy my freedom and will rebel if I feel threatened by a restriction. I have the tendency to pick up many hobbies (usually all at once) as I love learning new things and I find that once I have learned something or feel I have learned all there is possible to learn about a subject, I get bored and tend to move on. My resume is a stunning reflection of this habit (bad, I know) yet I have not been able to find a job that could keep me for very long.

I am a very intelligent individual and often pick up and learn things faster then most. While I enjoy this trait about myself, as it does come in handy, it is also a disadvantage especially where work is concerned, as if I am not continually challenged, I often get bored so I will either get into trouble (not intentionally) or I will move on to another job that I want to try and master. I doubt that this is something I will ever be able to overcome, however I do believe if I find a job that continually challenges me and pushes me, I won't run into the problems I spoke of above.

It is because of this that I have decided that my ultimate ambition is to work for a non-profit organization, particularly with orphans. While I am much too empathetic to be a social worker, I believe that I will still find emotional satisfaction in a management  position for non-profit organizations dealing with orphans. It is because of this realization that I am currently pursuing a Bachelor's of Science in Human Services Management. Ultimately, I would love to adopt one child, preferably a pre-teen as it has always been my ambition to provide a home and a place to belong for a child who may not have one.

As I continue a new journal which will document my struggles, triumphants, and success, the two things I hope to learn about myself is that I am a deserving individual regardless of past mistakes. I must learn to love myself so that others in turn can truly and fully love me-- because while they may love me now, they love what I want them to love and not the whole of me.  I hope that eventually as time goes on, my walls will start to disappear and I will stop feeling a need to protect people from what I feel will cause them to run in the opposite direction. I have to trust that regardless of what they may learn they'll still love me for me.

May 2010

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